Why the Most Authentic Thing About Being Alive Is the Capacity to Change
“Identity isn’t discovered, it’s decided—then decided again tomorrow. The most authentic thing about being alive is the capacity to change.”
This statement defies the modern obsession with “finding oneself” as if identity were a hidden relic waiting to be unearthed. Instead, it proposes that identity is not a passive discovery, but an active, evolving creation. Our truest authenticity lies not in fixity, but in our ability to change—morally, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually.
The Myth of Discovery vs. the Reality of Decision
Popular culture romanticizes “self-discovery” as a linear journey to an essential, unchanging truth buried inside us. But identity is more like art than archaeology. It is sculpted through our daily decisions, values we adopt, and the courage to reimagine ourselves in light of new truths.
Why We Want to Believe Identity is Discovered
- Certainty: If identity is discovered, it relieves us of the burden of choice and risk.
- Stability: We crave permanence in a chaotic world.
- Innocence: It allows us to avoid moral responsibility. “This is just who I am.”
Yet all of these comfort us at the cost of growth.
Identity as Decision: The Power of Moral Agency
We do not merely find who we are—we become who we are. Each action, belief, or sacrifice is a declaration of identity. This aligns with Viktor Frankl’s insight: “Man is not destroyed by suffering, he is destroyed by suffering without meaning.” Identity becomes meaningful only when we consciously choose what we will live, fight, and suffer for.
How Identity is Decided
- Values we commit to
- Boundaries we enforce
- Lies we stop telling
- Truths we begin to live
- Roles we reject or step into
Each of these choices is a mirror that reflects—and shapes—who we are.
Identity is Re-Decided Every Day: Why Constancy is a Myth
Change is not betrayal—it is the signature of life. We are dynamic beings in an evolving world. Stagnation, not change, is death in disguise.
Why We Must Re-Decide Our Identity
- New knowledge exposes outdated beliefs.
- Life transitions (parenthood, trauma, aging) reshape our priorities.
- Spiritual awakenings reorder our moral compass.
- Growth demands that we abandon yesterday’s masks.
Kierkegaard said, “The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly the one you’ll never have.” This pain comes from clinging to a fixed identity while life calls us to evolve.
The Moral and Psychological Cost of Fixed Identity
- Emotional Rigidity: People who refuse to change often develop depression, anxiety, or bitterness because their inner self no longer fits the outer world.
- Moral Stagnation: Fixed identity often justifies sin or mediocrity under the guise of authenticity. (“It’s just who I am.”)
- Relational Dysfunction: Relationships suffer when we cling to outdated versions of ourselves or others.
Refusing to change is not authenticity—it is self-preservation at the cost of integrity.
The Spiritual Dimension: God Calls Us to Become, Not Just Be
In Scripture, God renames people to mark transformation: Abram becomes Abraham. Saul becomes Paul. Simon becomes Peter. Each renaming is not just about calling—it is about re-choosing who they are in light of truth.
Jesus never affirmed identity as fixed. He called people to repent, be born again, follow Him, and “deny themselves.” These are verbs—active, evolving, courageous.
How to Authentically Change Your Identity
1. Self-Examination
- What beliefs are you clinging to that no longer serve truth?
- What behaviors are misaligned with your deepest values?
2. Conscious Re-Choosing
- Choose forgiveness over bitterness.
- Choose responsibility over victimhood.
- Choose courage over comfort.
3. Embrace the Temporary
- Allow identity to shift as you grow. Just as your cells regenerate, so should your character and convictions.
4. Spiritual Surrender
- Offer your life to a higher truth. Let God write your becoming.
Conclusion: Change as the Highest Form of Authenticity
You are not a fossil. You are a flame—constantly flickering, adapting to new winds. The pursuit of authenticity is not about “staying true to yourself” but becoming truer with each brave decision.
To be truly alive is to say:
“Yesterday I was brave enough to be who I was. Today, I am brave enough to become who I must.”
You are not a noun. You are a verb.
